This is another in an occasional series of strange dating emails. This one comes courtesy of a woman somewhere in East Texas, who obviously did what most men are guilty of online: not reading the profile and noticing that you are nowhere near what he/she says they are looking for.
I know I have said it before but most of the so called requirements that people put down in their profiles are pure and utter bullshit. Who cares that you like kitties and horsies and heavy metal and lean to the right of Benito Mussolini. All that it matters is that you find the other person interesting. Sure age and distance figure into it. Race and religion can also figure into it sometimes as well. But if all of that crap really mattered then I wouldn’t be here because my mother and father are not the male/female equivalent of each other. What they are is married for 53 years with three children and three grandchildren.
So what was her heinous crime? Well other than being too far away and too old for me by about 10 years. And let it be said the photograph she posted was not attractive to me. Her crime was just sending me a form letter, an obvious one..
From: [XXX] ([XXX]@talkmatch.com)
To: [ME] ([ME]talkmatch.com)
Date received: August 20, 2009
Subject: DATEI DO NOT DO ONE NIGHT STANDS NOR SEX ON FIRST OR SECOND OR THIRD DATE!
I would like to meet you- I am a professional– high school Spanish teacher, world traveled, widowed and divorced– you are 55-75 and I am 60- we are white, college grads, single and don’t want to be— I will be a nice date and we will have a fun night. Please come to College Station for first date and I will come there for 2nd date. My daughter lives in Houston. She is 29 college grad nurse. She and I are both Christian Aggies. I am in the process of selling my home and giving all away and moving to a condo. She is everything to me.
I am a Christian and active in my church, love people, travel, fine wines and fine restaurants. I will make you proud to take me out and I am not a stranger in any situation. I am widowed and divorced and the sooner we can get off this stupid sight, the better. Please come soon. Sleeping alone is no fun. 5’9″, nice figure, healthy, pretty, classy, fun ,bilingual, high school and college Beauty Queen and Ms. Everything. I have a very good retirement with teacher’s retirement and rent property and more. You have more than me and we will have a lot of fun!!
I HAVE BEEN OFFENDED BY MEN THAT HAVE CALLED AND EMAILED AND ASK ME ABOUT SEX !!!!!!! After we become friends- I pray we become lovers.
email please
[XXX]@talkmatch.com
###-###-#### voice mail
if no, please tell me why
Oh yeah, I’ll be laughing for a week.
My profile says you have to live in or near Austin and you have to be between 38 and 52. She lives over a hundred miles away and is 60. She did what many women accuse most men of doing. She sent emails to any and every profile with a picture they like.
She is obviously a newbie. Look at the bottom of the email. She included her real email address (match.com substituted her match.com email address). She also included her phone number. In an email to a stranger.
The internet used to be such a nice exclusive club. It’s starting to look more and more like a Wal Mart.