As luck would have it a new friend I met through match.com consented to forward to me an email from a potential suitor. I think it is important to note that this rather lengthy email was his very first contact. So presented below is his best foot forward. The email that will make her unable to resist the temptation to fire off a response eagerly anticipating his next meticulously crafted message.
To me it has the whiff of a form letter, spelling and grammar errors not withstanding. Having just completed the first watching of my Deadwood complete series DVD box set, it seems somehow reminiscent of trying to write in a form that is badly attempting to be somewhere on the same planet as David Milch.
I have inserted a few line breaks for readability’s sake. It is otherwise unedited.
You are the most sexiest creature on planet earth to my eyes sight ……damn have never seen such Elegant and Gorgeous lady,i know you might think am flattering you….Nope,just been realistic about how charming you are ,you don’t look your age. I must confess your incredible profile and you are stunning, gorgeous actually. I saw your profile and it caused and unusual impact, I am interested in you.
You have such a beautiful profile.You have such a beautiful profile.Have you found your lover? If you are still searching, I would like to know more about you, what motivates you? What makes your heart leap with passion? Love? Joy? I find your intelligence and beauty very exciting.Your profile drew me in and captivated me. I’m looking for a woman who wants to take the time to get to know me through email correspondence and an open sharing of the head and the heart first through email and Chatting online and then negotiating a meeting.in person if we both remain interested.
I am ready willing and able to adventure forth on a journey that will leave the past behind while preserving the best memories and forgiving the ones that were hurtful and usually unintentional.I want to share what I have
with one special woman who will appreciate that I have a deep capacity to love that needs to be filled and fulfilled.I want and need the healing power of love emotionally, someone that would make me forget my past love life.I live life one day, one hour, one moment at a time. I live as if time were on fire and I believe that every day of the right relationship should be treated like the first day of our honeymoon. I live life one day, one hour, one moment at a time. I live as if time were on fire and I believe that every day of the right relationship should be treated like the first day of
our honeymoon.I am not a promiscuous man. My desire is to be sexually faithful to the woman I marry.I am writing these thoughts as the flow into my head and my sense is that they are coming directly from my heart. I’m feeling very peaceful now and this seems like the appropriate place to stop.well i know you will understand, do you have a yahoo messenger or hotmail messenger ? if you do, you contact me through yahoo messenger [redacted] or hotmail messenger [redacted],it will be nice hearing from you soon….take good care of yourself. yours Admirer [redacted]
So if you ever wonder why you (yes, you) don’t get a response to your email this joker is one of the reasons.