Yes we have another entry in the bizarre emails I have gotten from women on match.com. This particular one came in a scant week or so after the last one. This one also in response to my rather lengthy list of “89 reasons why we should meet.”
Just so you know ahead of time this comes from a rather heavyset blonde woman of approximately my own age. Her main profile is a bit brief:
I am about 5′ 7′ blonde about a size 14-18 average to slightly heavy. I have green eyes and love to have fun. Not looking for anyone perfect. We are all unperfect. Just nice. No specific expectations except non-violent. Companionship is most important.
There was one picture with the profile. Judging from her picture her stated dress size range was probably a bit conservative.
There is a bit more under the other headings. I have excerpted a couple of sentences that stand out.
my job:
I wish to be viewed as a person seeking companionship, I am not a “desperate person” and do not believe in crowding or pressuring.[…]
So if I give her a pass on putting that content under “my job” this brings to mind a trick in the ad business: sell the product on the opposite of it’s main weakness. As an example the sale of SUVs on how good they are to the environment because they have “best in class” gas mileage. Still it is good to know that she is not a “desperate person.”
favorite hot spots:
Would like someone to travel to Panama City with me from 8/31/07-09/02/07. […]
When the email arrived her trip to Panama City was nine days away. So she is not “desperate” merely in a hurry to establish a relationship so her intended would be willing to spend a week in a small South American country with a woman he had known for about a week.
last read:
Last read my horoscopes in the newspaper today
“Travel to foreign places is in your future. Events will conspire to provide you a traveling companion. Before leaving on your overseas adventure it would be wise to find a bail bondsman with a 24 hour number, a contact at the American embassy and a place to get a good shovel and 50 pounds of lime.”
OK now that I have cleverly shown how incredibly mean and snarky I am let’s get on with her first contact email.
From: [her]@talkmatch.com
To: [me]@talkmatch.com
Date received: August 22, 2007
Subject: TOO MUCH DETAILYou came up on my matches list so I read and read and read.
You’re right if I took the time to read all that I should say something right? So here goes… I did enjoy reading it though it’s
funny. Why would you take the time to write so much? 🙂
Usually when you get a first contact email you are assuming that they are interested in you and have found something in your profile to write about that they particularly liked. Seeing as this is a dating service it’s not an unreasonable conclusion, right?. My initial response was,”yeah whatever.” But as my hand hovers over the delete button I wonder. Why take the time to write what is essentially negative commentary? I mean when I run across a profile that I just don’t like, don’t agree with or just doesn’t do it for me I keep moving. Why didn’t she?
So I respond in kind. Careful to obliquely point out the dearth of actual information about her in her profile without using a subject line like “NOT ENOUGH DETAIL”. My last line is pretty standard when I don’t feel the interest is mutual: I am not likewise interested. Hell I could have just clicked on the “no thanks link included in every first email that passes through match.com or done what most people do, delete the message. Nope I’m a glutton for punishment.
[…], if you spend some TIME crafting an interesting, intelligent and funny profile you get more responses.
thank you for your interest and best of luck in your search
s
Okay so I was a little curt in my response and more than a little snarky. But why the compulsion to write if you are not interested? My assumptions of reasonableness are obviously out of line. I need to work on that.
She responds.
Actually, It wasn’t an “interest” in “YOU” I had. It was as I said a curiosity of why you took so much time to create such a long statement. My asking that wasn’t intended to be sarcasm and I apologize if you may have perceived it that way or if I’ve offended you in anyway by asking. I put a smile at then end! It was only an inquiry as to why you wanted to write so much. Most people keep the information brief leaving something for the imagination. I didn’t feel I left out any “intelligence” in my information.
So please don’t deceive yourself by thinking I had an interest in you. It truly wasn’t that.
Also for your information I am NOT one of those “DESPERATE FEMALES” we have in our world today, therefore I kept my information simple like most other people that also don’t feel they have to be sooooooo “INTERESTING,INTELLIGENT AND FUNNY” to get attention.
Strangely enough her response included her complete work email signature including her full name, title, email address and phone number. I also found it quite odd that she reiterated her “I am not one of those desperate females” phrase when I had not even hinted at that in my response.
So I send this email thread on to a couple of female friends and got some good responses.
She specifically wrote to you to criticize you. How bizarre. Can you say "sadist"?
And my favorite.
OK…she lost me on this logic:
I kept my information simple
like most other people that also don’t feel they have to be sooooooo “INTERESTING,INTELLIGENT AND FUNNY” to get attention.duh….isn’t that the point of having a profile???? Glad I have no time to mess around with Match right now, I couldn’t tolerate the idiots.[…]
I guess I somehow pressed a hot button on Miss Not A Desperate Female. Not to mention that her whole second email screams “I failed grammar school English.”
Which in this case is much like the pot calling the kettle black.